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Recruiting For The Christmas Purple Squirrel Candidate

Recruiting For The Christmas Purple Squirrel Candidate

‘Twas two days before Christmas, when all through the recruiting arena,

The recruiters had bolted left the office faster than cheetahs;


The placement and invoices had all been submitted,

On the searches that had been completed;


All the candidate start dates had been established and confirmed,

The staff’s thoughts of starting a new search unconcerned;


So I sat at my desk to read the a recruiter training session,

I was looking forward to honing my profession;


I got jolted when the phone rang;

My ringtone had startled me with a cling and a clang;


I looked at the phone with some wonder,

I saw the area code read North Pole not the land from down under;


I answered the phone, the voice was curt and cold,

It was HR from the North Pole, they said, Santa’s not performing his tasks, he may be too old;


I said that statement may be discriminatory,

The voice responded; “Sorry, but delivering gifts is Santa’s mandatory”;


I said thanks for the call, but I do not recruit Santas or holiday roles,

They responded I may be getting a gift of coal;


Santa can’t do, he is on leave,

Henry, we will be honest with you and will not deceive;


We need to recruit a Santa, we have to replace,

But we have been looking for 180 days;


She said they asked around near and afar,

They asked around for a recruiting superstar;


Your name came up in four times in one day,

She said the people said Henry the Headhunter can help find the way;


I thought of saying, no thank you,

This is Santa, and I am a Jew.


I told her what my fee was 30%,

But I for the good little children, I would do it at no expense;


I took the job details, requirements, client wants and whirls,

And felt that I would be looking for the elusive YuleTime Purple Squirrel;


I hit LinkedIn, the job boards, my split network, I even did the 100 point Marshall Plan,

I pounded the applicant tracking systems Kortivity and Lever for candidates woman and man;


I used my fellow recruiters and even RPOs but to my bad luck,

I just heard the phrase can’t help, they were passing the buck;

I called Danny Cahill, Jeff Traill, Stu Goldblatt, and Barb Bruno too,

I spoke to Greg Doersching, Glenn Gutmacher, and Jordan Rayboy’s crew;


They gave me advice and told me to shut up, get yourself sourcing,

If I do not get this done fast, my wife would start divorcing;


I hit the phones hard and got people talking, 

I short listed 4 candidates from the 50 that I was stalking;


The interviews were done via phone in one day,

When four shortlisted St Nicks become one Santa finalist, I felt we were making headway;


The offer was given, signed and reference checks done,

I had recruited Santa, the deliveries would soon begun;


I left the office at the end of Xmas eve,

Knowing I recruited Santa, hard to believe;


Got home in time for dinner, desserts, and had wine,

Relaxed and fell asleep in short time;


Woke from my nap when there was a noise, 

It sounded like there was movement of toys;


I looked up and saw my recruited Santa,

And smiled at her and called her by given name, Anna;


She said thank you for the offer to be the new St Nick,

I said you deserved it as you was the North Pole’s top pick.


She zipped up the chimney quickly and then left,

I said to myself, “we all should feel very blessed”.


Happy Holidays.

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